Category Archives: Events and Parties

Those who were at the 9th Annual Paws For Style Event at Arena in NYC this evening would recognize me as the jugtastic woman in the white t-shirt conducting the red carpet, fielding harassment from several crazy paparazzi. My favorite encounter was with a representative from the Russian TV Channel, who was clearly not invited. The Russian woman, in that thick, hateful voice, had the nerve to accuse me of not letting her into the press barricade for photos because I was against her “people.” I looked her straight in the eye and said, “Lady, please don’t play that card with me,” and showed her the security guard. I also probably should have shown her the blueprints of my family tree, which include my plethora of Russian relatives.

But the big news of the night? Lauren Conrad completely flaked. In case you’re not familiar with the event, Paws for Style is a big party and fashion show that showcases dogs and their owners (usually celebrities and socialites) on the runway in designer duds, and all the funds raised go to charity. So Lauren showed up for the red carpet, did her interviews and posed for the pap, and then, when called to walk the runway, refused to get on the stage. The worst part is that the Humane Society of New York, who are the ones benefitting from the event, paid for her flight from California and hotel at one of NYC’s top spots.

Click “Read More” for the rest!

Cara, my darling little hair vixen, who was helping to run the chaos backstage, said that she overheard Lauren and her publicist talking about her scheduled runway appearance – it seemed as though she had no idea that she was scheduled to walk. Lauren then feigned tears, and with the help from her publicist minions, rushed through the crowd and down the stairs. The funny thing? Every detail of the event had been confirmed and settled wayyy before, so there was no way Lauren wasn’t aware of her participation in the fashion show.

Phew. This night was absolutely crazy. Between the drama with “HellC” (oooh that’s a good one – quote me! ok, but actually, i’ll be honest – she was really nice when I spoke to her) and trying to please all the reporters, I’d say I deserve a nice footrub/Xanax chased with tequila.

If you were there, email me! Especially the photogs…I had a GREAT time with you all!

This is one advanced screening I’m actually pretty psyched about (right up there with Kung Fu Panda – don’t front!); The Promotion looks effing funny! Directed by Steven Conrad (who wrote The Pursuit of Happyness) and starring John C. Reilly, Sean William Scott, Jenna Fischer, Lili Taylor, Gil Bellows and Fred Armisen, the movie promises to at least be entertaining if not hirarious.

By tonight/early tomorrow morning I’ll have a full review of the movie, plus some tidbits from a Q & A with Sean William Hott (sorry about that). I’ll also be at the after party with the cast in Soho, so you best expect some photos and ass-grabbing on my behalf.

Here’s the trailer:

So this party last night was at a bar called The Upstairs. It was upstairs. When we first got there, things were a bit whack – the door guy analyzed my I.D. like it was Tolstoy. I got a little impatient and started dictating what was on it, like birth date, etc., and he told me to simma down and that he was just doing his job. He said, “I’m speaking English, right?” and I said, “Well I don’t really know for sure, you could be speaking another language, because sometimes I dream in other languages and this could be a dream.” And he said, “Get upstairs,” and I said, “Peace out with your crease out.”

Above is a hot pic of Lucy and I making some painfully forced faces, with my boobs attacking her boobs. My boobs won.

Once the bottle service got poppin’, the night advanced in its awesomeness by at least 200%.

At $800 a pop, The Gay Goose was a’flowin (I call it that because there were about 2 straight guys there, and even they were questionable. You love me W!), and we kinda would just go up to somebody’s table and help ourselves like a bunch of assholes. Hoorah!

Christian Siriano (Project Runway champ) was there with his photog bf; see snap below for an action shot of our conversation – clearly the camera guy didn’t know when to press the button. And who is that random dude in the background who appears to be licking my head?

After Lucy and I left the party at around 2ish, we brought a dream to fruition. You see, every time we are on our way home from something, we always muse over what a money-saver it would be if we did something mildly obnoxious/illegal so that the cops would drive us back to Brooklyn. Well, Grey Goose bedamned, we approached some hot uniformed men who just happened to be around the corner from the club, (who shall remain nameless, and I won’t reveal which uniform it was – could it be a fireman? an ambulance? you will never know!) and coerced them into giving us a ride. They dropped us off at Union Square and we hopped on the subway from there, laughing maniacally. Thank you, city of New York!

Once on the subway, Lucy and I were serenaded by a Spanish guy with no teeth. Here he is singing an amalgamation of Stairway to Heaven and something that sounded a lot like William Hung’s version of “She Bangs.”

Another plus, my manicure held up, even though the Asian lady laughed when I picked out the bright raspberry Essy color “Your nails so short, it will look like little candies on your fingers!” Listen, lady, I don’t pay you to talk.